


A Simple Disloyalty

by Kresniks



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:35:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24953893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kresniks/pseuds/Kresniks
Summary: Ciel cannot bear the burden of living while knowing the truth of who caused him such suffering. Unable to disregard his love for his brother, he trusts the demon at his side to bring his turmoil to an end.The demon fails.
Relationships: Sebastian Michaelis/Ciel Phantomhive
Comments: 14
Kudos: 111





	A Simple Disloyalty

**Author's Note:**

> ((takes place in a universe wherein r!Ciel is the mastermind))

Ciel had wholly intended to follow his side of the agreement right until his dying breath. 

He had foolishly assumed that there was nothing - no _way_ that anything, or any _one_ could prevent him from seeing his revenge through until the very end. After all - how could there be?

His family had passed on. His mother, father, aunt, brother: all dead. There had been no one left for him to truly care for, and if any of his relatives or acquaintances ever posed a nuisance to his objective, then he could not afford to hesitate in sacrificing them. Irregardless of his reluctance to.

But _what_ , pray, _what_ was he supposed to do when the very person he had been seeking his revenge on, was the person for whom he had decided to pursue it?

His beloved twin brother.

In the end, he had decided to become his brother for the both of them. He sought revenge for the both of them. He killed for the both of them. He had not stolen his brother’s identity; he had killed his own. To let _him_ live - let _Ciel_ live.

But in the end, what had it all been for? His own brother had betrayed him. He may have existed beyond death, but still, Ciel could not kill him. Refused to kill him. He could not bear even the thought of it, not when the sole reason he still lived had been for him. In the end, his choice to pursue revenge had been pure foolishness; his brother had gone through all the same torment that had been afflicted upon himself, after all. What was the point?

What was the point anymore?

He simply wished for death. He did not concern himself with anything anymore. He wished for his soul to be consumed and mangled beyond recognition to the extent that it would be impossible for any measly part of it to be reincarnated. And luckily, he had at his side a demon who would do precisely that.

  
  
  


“Young master - your lunch,” A smooth, gentle voice came to his ears, then the familiar sound of his butler placing a tray on the bedside table - food that he would likely barely touch. Ciel said nothing in reply, and simply stared up at the demon from inside his cocoon of blankets with blank eyes.

Sebastian sighed, irritation clear in his expression.

“At the very least, you could eat something,” he said, disapproving. “I may have let you be solitary for a while now, as I know how you react when something has upset you so, but my patience is wearing thin. It has been three days now, and you barely eat a thing.”

“What do you care?” Ciel retorted, lying lifeless on the bed. It was a very simple room; Lau had let him have it, and the mattress was so firm that it barely qualified as a bed. But he had it not within him to mind it. He had no energy. “You only say that in mind of your ulterior motives for my soul.”

“That may be so, but I cannot have you dying before I even redeem the chance to fulfil that motive,” Sebastian eyed him wearily. “You must eat.”

“No. It is pointless.”

This statement was what seemed to bring the demon to his wit’s end. Gloved hands grabbed at the collar of Ciel’s nightshirt, and the fabric dug into his slender shoulders, but Ciel’s stare upon the demon’s face remained impervious, lifeless. Meanwhile, the dark auburn irises of the demon’s eyes swirled to be a marvellous blood red, and swathes of dark, threatening tendrils of energy tumbled from his dark hair. A fearsome, ravenous aura exuded from each breath which fell from his open mouth onto Ciel’s little nose, making it clear that he was seconds away from being eaten - and Ciel still could not find it within him to care.

“Unless you regain your composure and begin to pursue your brother, you are violating our contract. You _are_ aware what that entails, are you not?” Sebastian grinned, his usual soft tone underpinned by an ill-tempered growl. “If you stop here, I shall not hesitate in extracting your soul right this instant, as per the terms of our contract. Your time has drawn to a close. I _am_ famished, after all.”

The human shape of his body seemed to only grow vaguer and vaguer as it morphed into pure darkness, leaving only the face of a starved devil, threatening the boy with every one of his razor-sharp teeth on display. 

_I really am going to be eaten. At last._

“Do it then. Do away with me already.”

Ciel's blank stare remained unwavering. The demon paused.

“To think you were so weak in the end… I’m disappointed,” the demon looked at him with pitying eyes. No doubt, the pity was manufactured. 

“Your guilt-tripping is pointless. I simply no longer have the energy, or any incentive. I purely wish for you to kill me now. I admit defeat; I give up. I am yours. I am all yours to have.”

The demon growled, and inky tendrils encased the both of them in the embrace of a dark, chilling energy. Ciel closed his eyes gently as that parted mouth drew closer, and he felt the touch of the demon’s lips pressing against his own. Everything about Sebastian was cold, but there was something warm about the touch of his lips as Ciel resigned himself to his fate. It was true that he had given up on life - but still, he could not repress the quickening of his heartbeat as sharp fangs scraped his skin. Perhaps somewhere, underneath all this despair, he was a little frightened.

Their lips remained pressed together for a few long minutes - Ciel only wished it would happen quicker. He couldn't feel a thing happening - he felt perhaps breathless as those lips were locked over his own, but that was nothing new. Another minute, and he began to doubt that it would ever come to an end at all. The moment was torturous.

“When is it over?” Ciel murmured against his lips. No reply came, and when after another minute, he felt the hotness to his lips retreat, he was truly bewildered.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Ciel said, suspicion clear in his tone as he opened his eyes to look at the creature.

The expression that met his line of sight could be described as nothing other than utter rage. 

The red of his eyes glowed hot, his stare was incredulous as he gave Ciel the most accusatory of looks. An extremely displeased frown sat on his lips, fangs still visible from their underside.

“What is _wrong_ with you? Get it over with, I say,” Ciel said, irked. His strangeness in the matter was only making him want to get up and end it himself in some way. Sebastian still sat there, bent over, glaring at him as if he had committed some sort of terrible offense. 

“ _Get on with it!_ ” Ciel grabbed at the thick sleeves that were pinned at both sides of his head, and tugged at them hard. Still, the demon did not respond, and merely pinned him with an exasperated, resentful stare.

What on earth was wrong with him? Was he unable to find the soul for some reason? Was his body already failing him? Was his soul not so exceptional as he thought it might be? Or…

Suddenly, an unbelievable, very interesting theory popped into Ciel’s head. If it were true, it would certainly be the most hysterical of circumstances.

“No… don’t you dare say…” Ciel poked at the demon's chest. “You can’t do it?”

More vexed silence.

“It can’t be…” Ciel’s eyes widened. “You really grew so attached to me that you cannot do what you were frankly _born_ to do? For a measly human?”

An angered growl fell from between his bared teeth.

“You… this must be a joke…” Laughter threatened the back of Ciel’s throat, pushing an ugly cackle into the open air. “Pathetic! I have never heard of such a pathetic excuse for a demon all my life!” he laughed, poking at the demon with his index finger even more insistently. “You spent all this time buttering me up, and for _what_? To go soft for a little boy? What a disgusting creature you are!”

More humanity returned to the body before Ciel, arms and legs completely humanoid once again, yet the vexed stare of his eyes remained firm. Ciel pushed him away, and there was no resistance to the gesture.

“Get out of my sight,” Ciel spat. “You are a failure.”

He almost expected the demon to stay standing there with that foolish stare of his, or perhaps another failed attempt to attack him, but to his surprise, Sebastian turned swiftly on his heel to leave the room, and slammed the door behind him with not a semblance of the elegance that he had learned so well over recent years. Why, he knew not, but the gesture drew a chuckle from the boy.

So, what? Somewhere, along the way, the demon had grown an attachment to him? Well, that part did not surprise him, in all honesty - despite their situation, Ciel had felt a genuine partnership with the demon, and he could not deny that he may have had some fondness for the creature. Yet still, Ciel had never humoured the notion that he might go as far as to _break_ his oh-so special contract over meagre affection for a lowly human.

It was hilarious.

Ciel reached for the tray on his bedside table and held the fork in-between his fingers. Such as their situation was, Sebastian was only able to acquire the bare minimum of ingredients, but it wasn’t all too bad. He scooped a forkful of mashed potato into his mouth, the creamy fluffiness almost seeming to melt on his tongue. As per usual, despite their terrible circumstances, it was delicious.

  
  
  


The one who arrived at his bedroom door at dinnertime was not Sebastian, but Lau. 

“Oh dear, you really are still in bed? It was no lie when they said you were all torn up.”

“Who is ‘they’?” Ciel narrowed his eyes as he propped himself up onto a pillow.

“No matter,” Lau smirked. “So? What did you do to the poor man? I’ve come to deliver your supper, since Sebastian was so insistent that he could not see you today. I’ve never seen the chap so skittish.”

“ _I_ did not a thing. Sending you here... he has no backbone,” Ciel sighed.

“Well, it’s none of my concern, really,” Lau shrugged. “Just know that I shan’t make a habit of being your servant. If you have no desire to starve to death, you’ll have to go and bother the man yourself.”

“I know,” Ciel said, leaning over to take the bowl from Lau’s outstretched hands. “You already do enough by letting us be housed here. Thank you.” Lau blinked at him, eyebrows knitting together

“Somehow, you are a little brighter than I thought you might be,” Lau smiled slightly. “Something very interesting must have happened between the two of you.”

“You jest. There is nothing of the sort.”

Lau simply shrugged, although obvious amusement played on his lips.

“I will see you again once you feel up to dining with us all.”

With a click of the door, Ciel was once again left alone with all sorts of thoughts whirling about in his mind.

  
  
  
  


* * *

As promised, nobody came to wake him up, and he ended up sleeping well past noon. Instead of tea, he poured his own glass of water, then took a sip before slipping on his clothes all by himself. In fact, it had been a while since he had worn anything other than a nightshirt; it felt somewhat refreshing to be properly dressed.

“Right,” he asserted to himself. He was undeniably hungry; it was time to go in search of lunch, and accordingly, time to face Sebastian, seeing as the coward would not do it himself.

He was a little unsteady on his feet, but well strong enough, and he stood firm in front of the door to Sebastian’s makeshift bedroom. He turned the knob without knocking, and let himself into the room unannounced. 

Quite frankly, the demon looked an utter mess. He was only half-clothed - he wore trousers and a white shirt, but nothing more. He was sat on the floor, his back leant against the wall, and he gave Ciel a most apprehensive look as he raised his head. His hair was windswept in such a way that it looked about ten centimetres longer than it had been yesterday, and apart from the unsightly appearance of the demon himself, Ciel also noticed that the remainder of his clothes were sprawled out on the chair, dripping wet. Had he been outside in the rain all night? If he were human, Ciel would have called it a death wish.

“I don’t suppose you have made me any lunch after all. I need food, and our contract is still in place, I’ll have you know,” Ciel sighed, arms crossed. “What on Earth is wrong with you?”

“I assure you, I would like to know that just as well as you,” Sebastian replied, his voice gruff.

“Well? What has happened to you? You took so much enjoyment in being my butler that you could not bear to see your master die?”

“Of course not,” Sebastian narrowed his eyes. “You know just as well as I, that I am willing to overlook pleasure for my appetite.”

“You make a fair point,” Ciel said. “So, what is it then?”

“I-...” Sebastian started, averting his gaze with an uncharacteristic wariness. “I care too much for you.”

Half of Ciel wanted to laugh at and admonish the pitiful creature - the other was so taken aback by the confession that he could do nothing but stand there while his heartbeat began to race. The latter half took the crown.

He… cared for him so much that he would ignore the terms of their contract? It was so wholly unlike Sebastian that it was difficult to believe. And if Ciel did not know any better, he would think that Sebastian were embarrassed about it. 

“Y-You… should not worry yourself with me so. You’re not my father, or anything of the sort. I know that the contract is the most important thing to you. You will soon starve, otherwise.”

“No, I feel nothing so trivial as that,” he quickly retorted. “If it were, I should still soon consume your soul. I may be a little regretful, but it would be worth it.”

_Then what was not worth it? How can I be worth so much? More than a son?_

Ciel thought he had long learned that the emotions Sebastian displayed were little more than manufactured, face-saving devices in order to keep humans comfortable and unsuspecting. It was a surprise to find that they may have run deeper than originally thought. His confidence began to wane.

“What am I to you?” Ciel asked, tentative.

A pained look crossed Sebastian’s face. Ciel was forced to face the accusation which had been niggling at the back of his mind for a while now.

“You… are you _sweet on_ me?” Ciel asked, bewildered. Sebastian winced - an unfortunate sign that Ciel was precisely on the mark.

“Perhaps,” Sebastian smiled, albeit with some irritation behind it. He then stood, brushing off his crumpled clothes with his palms. “No matter how it may dismay me, it is better that I admit it. To you, and to myself. I am a traitor to my own creed.”

Ciel could no longer deny that his heart was racing. He had always (privately) thought Sebastian to be handsome, and he enjoyed his company and his banter - but knowing that Sebastian had fallen for him so heavily that it overtook his existence for being was somewhat overwhelming. He had never been so precious to anybody aside from his brother his entire life. 

“Well, now that you are aware I am in love with you, what will you do? Is it too disgusting? Will you take pity on me? Will you send me away?” Sebastian laughed bitterly.

Ciel was speechless. Love? _Love?_ The demon was in love with him?

Apprehensive, Ciel walked towards him, and gently rested his forehead on his chest - he really was very tall. He wasn’t really sure what he was doing, but he did know that there was no way he could look Sebastian in the eye at that moment without shaking. Sebastian remained frozen, and silent as Ciel gathered his thoughts.

“It’s… I admit I don’t know what exactly I should say,” Ciel began. “I am unused to such weighty confessions. And for it to be from you, of all people.”

Sebastian stood there, frigid, awaiting whatever fate his master might give unto him. 

“Are you quite certain? You, a demon, soft for a human child, of all things?”

“I assure you, Young Master, I am quite certain. I spent the night attempting to kill you in a variety of ways, and yet the will to do so escaped me every single time.”

Ciel erupted into laughter, his shoulders shaking, but he still did not raise his head.

“I have to say, that is not what people would usually call a loving gesture,” Ciel smirked. “But I will not send you away. However, I also will not bring our contract to an end. Although, I will agree to amend the terms, seeing as you will starve to death otherwise.”

Ciel raised his head, and gave a rare, sweet smile to Sebastian. His insides felt a little as though they had melted into a horrid, sticky mush.

“I may be a little overwhelmed, but your feelings are not at all unpleasant. In fact, I am very satisfied,” he smiled. “You shall stay by my side for as long as our contract is valid. Upon my death, however it may happen, my soul is still yours. And you shall kiss me, if you agree to this.”

Sebastian looked at him as if he were the most impossible being. It was a little funny that there had been doubt in his mind that Ciel would accept him - with a face like that, who could honestly refuse? They had been together for so long, and for once, Ciel allowed himself the thought:

_I want it to never end._

Sebastian bent down, and carefully placed his hands around Ciel’s waist. As usual, his embrace made Ciel feel a sense of security that he had found at no other place, and a nervous eagerness held his chest tight as he reached up on his tiptoes to gently place his arms around Sebastian’s broad shoulders. It was striking how natural this all felt; it was not as if the two had not had similarly intense physical moments in the past. Ciel felt he belonged, for once. How ironic that it be in the arms of a monster.

“Yes, my Lord,” Sebastian said in a low tone before leaning in to kiss the dainty pink lips that were being offered up to him.

It was not unlike the gesture with which Sebastian would take his soul; warm lips pressed to his own, and fangs poked against the pink skin there as they manoeuvred together. Ciel sighed. He had never been kissed like this before, but it was not at all objectionable - for once, he felt loved, and it was somewhat alarming. For the first time in years, he let himself be loved, without any other care that he might have. Ultimately, when you are courting a demon, there is little else to be scared of anymore.

In another ‘first’, Ciel allowed himself to card his slender fingers into the soft black hair at the back of Sebastian's neck. He could _almost_ understand the feeling that Sebastian surrendered to when he came across a particularly soft cat. His hair was still exceedingly messy, however, and it knotted when Ciel attempted to run his fingers through it, but Sebastian did not seem to mind; he released a hot breath against Ciel’s lips, and then pulled his little hips to be flush against his own. Ciel’s small feet trembled as he struggled to keep himself on the tip of his toes, but he still did not want the moment to come to an end.

He knew little of the art of kissing, as those he had received in the past had been either familial pecks or filthy slobbering, but even letting himself be steered was wondrous; he supposed the demon who had hundreds of years in practice of a loving kiss was at a far advantage. Ciel was happy to be able to forget everything, and simply let that tongue manipulate his own, pressing and swiping against the soft skin on the inside of his bottom lip. Besides, when it came to matters other than kissing, Ciel would certainly make sure he had the upper hand on him.

They kissed until Ciel’s lips were swollen and bleeding a little from the little bites that Sebastian gave him, Ciel’s knees were quaking so tremendously that he thought they might give out under him, and other parts of their bodies becoming far too hot and bothered for early afternoon. Luckily, Sebastian caught Ciel as he attempted to take a feeble step, and he leant against that strong torso, letting each heavy breath be torn from his weak lungs.

“One last thing,” Ciel said, voice muted. He reached up a palm to cradle Sebastian’s cold, pale cheek, and marvelled at how unexpectedly soft the skin there was under his fingertips. He reached upwards one more time, to plant a sweet kiss to the tip of the demon’s nose.

“From now on, call me by my real name.”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> [twitter](http://www.twitter.com/atsukunai)


End file.
